PROTECTED: the friendly killer

“‘He friends you, then he ends you.’ The chilling meme making the rounds on Facebook is the result of a series of a grisly murders, which in every case were discovered via the social media platform, after the killer replaced the victims profile picture with one of their hung remains. The police currently have no description of the murderer, and new victims are being discovered, seemingly every day…”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of him. ‘The Friendly Killer’! Wooohooo scary! Guy probably has some kind of coping insufficiency, some kind of, what do you call it? Yeah, some kind of insecurity. Guy probably couldn’t string together two buns, you know what I mean?”

“Hey mom know it’s late but can you come get me becky bailed and I-”

“The thing is, these murders require a degree of sophistication. The perpetrator isn’t just murdering his victims, he’s dragging out their electronic laundry, publishing embarrassing pictures, conversations, sensitive location histories…”

“Well I was coming around the corner, I was doing my laundry in the laundry room, which is about fifty yards away from the public pool, which is where I often see Afbar, by the pool. But there’s this blind corner with this concrete ledge that I always trip on, so I was being particularly careful NOT to get hung up on that ledge, with all my laundry, and flying everywhere, and my underclothes flying everywhere, but instead I turned the corner, stepped over the ledge, and looked up to see a tall person standing by the pool, taking pictures, and poor Afbar, floating, but face down…”

“Is it a single individual, or a group of interconnected members working in concert? How are the victims selected, by random chance, or is there some unifying fiber, tying them all together? At this time, we have little else, but our questions…”

“No no no, I’m not saying tfk is a government enterprise, I’m saying it’s a government enterprise gone amok, gone bonkers, gone fucking cocaine shit insane. These guys have been working for years on these things right? Mind control, brain fuckery, getting inside your head and just tweak tweak tweaking wires until they find the one that makes you squeeze a trigger. These guys have been working for years, pumping out wolves in people clothing, but their newest design is the pump and dump chump, the unaware civy that wanders into their web, they tweak ’em once real good, send the little nesting dolls on their way. Time comes, the codeword is given, the passphrase is passed, the encryption is broken and BLAM! These suckers are assigned some super top bottom secret side mission, the complete their task like the happy little androids they are, and then BLUE! Nothing. They go back to their lives, happy, not remembering a thing. Multiple ingrained missions tend to mind bend the victim you see. Like twisting molten hot steel too many times.”

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